Sweet score, eh?

For anyone who's a fiend of kitsch, beer, and commercial art, what the fuck more could you want? We found this thing in a Salvation Army in North Vancouver, shelled out 20 bucks for it, and lugged it around Vancouver for hours and hours. It was hellish, especially dragging it through downtown malls on a busy holiday shopping Saturday. But somehow it made it through the plane ride home inside a suitcase without breaking and now this piece of Canadiana hangs proudly on our wall, a dedication to all the Molson beers I've consumed in the past 10 years and a conveniently placed mirror to check yourself out on the way to our porch. Cheers!

Scenes of Vancouver

Sonia and I went to Vancouver last week and took in some amazing views of the city from atop the legendary Harbour Centre! Sure, it cost 13 bucks to ride the glass elevator to the top but it was all worthwhile. The pass was valid all day so we went back after dusk for a view of the magnificent Vancouver skyline at night. Afterwards, I took some shots of West Hastings Street. Say what you will about Vancouver's drowsy disposition, it sure is one good lookin' city. The song is one I wrote and recorded several years ago, forgot about, and recently rediscovered by Googling "phonecallsolved". The power of the Internet is unbounded!

Fantasy Garden Incense: Black Magic

This was a touching dollar store gift from our friend Trevor, with whom we had a partay night on our recent trip to Vancouver! The front of the package features a sensual, Satan worshiping black priestess with frizzed out hair and thick 80s make-up. One hand is donning a large diamond ring over black satin gloves (She must be married to Lucifer!), while the other suggestively strokes her inner thigh. On the back reads this piece of artful copy:

Fantasy Garden incense adds the ideal touch of fragrance to your home, your car, or wherever you like, with scents of fruits, forest, and exotic flowers. Light the tip of a stick, allow the flame to catch, then wave or blow it out. The stick will continue to glow gently and release its fragrance.

But how does Black Magic smell, you may ask? In a word, carnal.

Mexican Tire Weed

I wrote and recorded this song in tribute to the Texas weed smuggled through the Mexican border inside the tires of cars!
Download an mp3 here why dontcha?!

San Antonio highway construction project

Highway infrastructure in Texas is quite impressive. The common phrase, "Everything's bigger in Texas," definitely applies here. The absence of freezing weather makes the construction of soaring ramps possible, these spaghetti pools of roads crisscrossing into a giant sky.

In San Antonio, home of the second largest network of state highways in the U.S., they're doing everything possible to enlarge the already overwhelming transportation infrastructure. There is something mesmerizing about the concrete structures. Their design is purely utilitarian, but their aesthetic is both beautiful and alienating.

Me likey!

Your friendly neighborhood gun store

Coming from Canada, it's still shocking and thrilling for me to walk into a sports supply store like Academy and find all sorts of dangerous looking handguns on display like pies at a pastry shop. I mustered up the confidence to ask the man behind the counter if I could check out the largest handgun they had in stock -- a Smith & Wesson Model 500 revolver. The clerk reached behind the glass and pulled out this five pound monster of a weapon, checked that the chamber was empty and handed it over to me. He respectfully requested that if I want to aim it, to point it at the wall. I was dumbfounded! I didn't have the balls to ask the clerk to take my picture holding the gun, but I managed to snap some other pics from inside the gun shop ... er, sports supply store.

One day I fully intend to get myself one of these. Just for the fuck of it.

BBQ from heaven!

The Salt Lick's reputation as one of the best BBQ restaurants in Texas is well deserved. These people do not fuck around. Their brisket is by far the best I've ever had: moist, succulent, drenched in smoke flavor. When people from Austin are willing to drive to Driftwood, Texas to get BBQ -- probably the second most common genre of cuisine here (after Tex-Mex) -- and wait an hour just to be seated, they're doing something right. Actually, waiting is kind of fun. Patrons get to sit outside on picnic tables, drink their BYOB beer, and listen to some wacky dude play covers of old country songs.

A noun and a verb and 9/11

In last night's Democratic debate on MSNBC, Joe Biden -- my favorite drunk uncle -- delivered the best line of the night when he spoke about Rudy Giuliani's lack of experience. Check it out in the clip above.

I've been especially disturbed about the prospect of Giuliani winning the presidency, and not just because he's a Republican.

- His foreign policy team is made up of neoconservative hawks who helped push the U.S. into war with Iraq and now think bombing Iran is a great idea.
- The crazy fucker not only would continue raids on the sick and dying users of medical marijuana, but also insists the drug is "dangerously addictive", unlike - say - Oxycontin!
- Giuliani's racist worker ID card proposal (making all foreigners carry biometric ID cards) was once described by one of his own economic advisers as "totalitarian".
- He routinely cites misleading statistics to forward his argument that the U.S. health care system is "the greatest in the world."
- He even goes so far as to suggest the U.S. might have gone to war with Iraq if Bush and Cheney weren't in office!
- Just do a Google News search of Giuliani and you're bound to find some reason to hate the fucker.

But hey, if GOP voters elect a pro-choice, anti-gun, former mayor of New York City as their man in the White House, I guess the world is kind of fucked up already.

Born to ride...

At this mall in South Austin the mall cops ride around on Segway scooters! Making matters worse, they are wearing helmets! I'm sure teenagers are more amused than intimidated. It is hard not to laugh at them.

Texas "Autumn"

Finally, after sweating through two months of blazing hot temperatures, living in Texas pays dividends in the form of beautiful weather! Maybe we missed Autumn, but as you can see from these forecasts comparing Austin and Montreal's weather over the next couple days, Austin is about to get a nice Canadian-style summer. Just in time for Thanksgiving!



Sorry for rubbing it in Montreal, but come on! A warm Montreal afternoon right now is like a cold Texas night. I've finally been rewarded for all those weeks I had to spend in shorts.

Floppy and fuzzy

This cat sure loves the leather couch. Awww!

Individually wrapped hotdogs

Another food product that makes me laugh, cringe, and wonder

Large oak tree

This is one of the oldest oak trees in Austin. It is estimated to be about 500 years old. Damn, that's old!

Turbonegro videos!

I finally uploaded some video I shot at the Turbonegro show last week. The band provided a much less energetic performance than when I last saw them in Montreal. No blood was spilled on the audience, Euroboy never crowd surfed while shredding on his guitar, and Hank kind of lumbered about the stage like he was hung over. But it was still very awesome to see one of my favorite bands of all time! And the crowd loved them. Here are the three songs I filmed from their encore.

Everybody Loves a Chubby Dude (the video above)
The Age of Pamparius
Get It On

LOL

Nikki Sixx is in Austin to launch his new fashion line, being carried at extremely expensive high-end stores like Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom and Bloomingdale's. Anyway, I just had to laugh out loud at this picture of him in the newspaper with a black panther on a leash. Could there be a cheesier rock cliche?

Nikki, what happened?!

The taste of terror

As you can see from a picture I took this morning, the current threat level flavor in the U.S. is orange. This is considered worse than a lemon or lime threat but better than a cherry flavored one. JUST LIKE IN REAL LIFE!

"Standing tall, on the wings of my dream"

I'm heading to the Windy City for the weekend to visit my grandfather on his 80th birthday. I love Chicago, the few times I've been there at least, and one of the great opening scenes in television history captures the excitement of entering the city. I'm speaking of course of the intro to Perfect Strangers! Enjoy! I'll say hi to Barack for you.

Spec's Liquor Warehouse

Everyone in Canada who argued against trashing government run liquor stores and opening up the booze market to free competition should pay a visit to my new favorite liquor store. It's Spec's Liquor Warehouse! The place is fucking HUGE, by far the largest booze vendor I've ever visited.

While the provincial governments in Canada do some things very well, delivering a wide variety of competitively priced alcoholic beverages is not one of them. I realize the Tax Man takes a greater share in Canada to pay for beloved social programs, but even low prices aside -- the selection here is fucking tremendous. Not only do they sell every wine, beer, and spirit you can imagine, but they also keep on stock a selection of gourmet foods (with an in-house deli). For those who enjoy a fine cigars, they have a walk in humidor (no Cubans, of course).

I couldn't really capture it all in a video, but that didn't stop me from trying. Here's a stroll through Spec's Liquor Warehouse with the great music of 70s Texas funk band The Fabulous Mark III to enhance your shopping experience. Death to the SAQ!

River City Saunter

Earlier this month we took a trip to San Antonio and stopped by the city's historic Market Square (or El Mercado in Spanish) and then ventured over to the Alamo. Here's some video of the interesting products on sale at the Mercado, followed by a few shots of the Alamo.

Enjoy the interior shot of the Alamo, as I was almost kicked out for ignoring the signs that read, "No photography under any circumstances." I guess they consider disrespectful to the "shrine". My apologies to the ghost of Davy Crockett!

Bats! Bats! Bats! Bats! Bats! Bats!

Holy hell, there are literally hundreds of thousands of these little guys living under the Congress Avenue bridge in Austin, and every night they emerge screeching and starving for insects. This is some video I took last night when we went to go check out this popular Austin attraction. Admittedly, it is kind of hard to catch on a YouTube video, but hopefully this conveys some of the spookiness of it all.

Even though they look like evil bloodsucking monsters, you gotta love the bats for devouring thousands of pounds of insects every night. And let me tell ya, as a red blooded Canadian boy, there are some fucking freaky big bugs down here in Texas that I ain't never seen up north. I'm glad the bats are doing something about it!

Loonies gone wild!

OMFG!! For the first time ever in my life, the Canadian dollar is worth more than the U.S. greenback! At the time of this post, it cost $1.00171 U.S. to buy $1 Canadian. It's an economic reality that is especially pertinent for me right now, with bank accounts in both countries, and money dealings back and forth across the 49th parallel.

Why could this never happen in the 27 years I spent in Canada?! I'll tell you what though, Canadians are getting majorly shafted by prices. Someone is making a killing off the backs of passive Canucks still willing to pay 25% more for books and other consumer goods. Riot, you people!

Although, if the Canadian Labour Congress has its way, it probably won't even matter.

I place I know called Ontario

This is the first Ontario license plate I've seen in Texas and of course the driver did a half-assed job of parking. Keep it between the yellow lines, buddy! You're not in Mississauga anymore!

The way to drive in Texas is to ride your large American-made pick-up truck like a blazing white stallion at 90+ miles per hour down the interstate while weaving back and forth between lanes to keep ahead of the flow of traffic. Or you can do it on a Harley Davidson motorcycle -- but only in shorts, t-shirt and no helmet. Seriously, I've seen bad drivers in Ottawa, arrogant motorists in Montreal, and morons behind the wheel in Boston, but I've never witnessed anyone ride more insanely than these Texas motherfuckers. Right on!

Turbonegro must be destroyed!

As part of their latest tour to promote their new album, fucking Turbonegro is playing at Emo's right here in Austin on October 2nd!

Got our tickets and can't wait!!

Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowls

I feel bad because I have eaten so much amazingly good food in the U.S. (especially Texas) but I always seem to harp on the worst shit I find in the grocery store. Trust me, there are delicious eats and I will write about them...eventually.

For now, let's take a look at the calorific Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowl!

Servings per Container 1
Amount Per Serving
Calories 740 Calories From Fat 320
Total Fat 35g
Saturated Fat 9g
Transfat 0g
Cholesterol 60mg
Sodium 1000mg
Total Carbohydrate 96g
Dietary Fiber 0g
Sugars 41g
Protein 14g

Yumm.... 740 calories, almost half of them from fat!

And no, I didn't try one.

News Cat

Casa de Wal-Mart

To Wal-Mart haters who despise the world's largest retailer for homogenizing local culture, I offer this powerful rebuttal. Not only is Wal-Mart celebrating Hispanic heritage for the entire month of September, but also - as you can see in the upper left - they put a sombrero on their price-slashing smiley face mascot!
Hola! Amigo Care Bear would be proud.

This ain't the frickin Kootenays

Pretty fuckin rad animated gif hey? Looks like it was made in 1994. It would make a rad neck tattoo. It also truly sums up the seasons in Texas: hot and hotter. This weather is definitely foreign to my Canadian experiences.

I added a Weather Underground (Voted Best Weather Website 2007 by me) widget at the top of this page to share my current conditions. Like many warm locales, it's not the heat that kills you as much as the humidity, that damn sopping wet blanket of thick air.

At the Taco, Taco Cabana

The first fast food joint I have been to that serves alcoholic margaritas and decent Tex Mex. Luckily, these restaurants are all over the place in Texas, so when you pull into a rest stop off the Interstate, you at least have the option of booze and enchiladas over pop and shit burgers.

New Curbs

I just found out the new season of what I consider to be the funniest show still on TV begins on September 9th! That's less than two weeks away. It will likely be available for download by September 10th. God bless HBO!

Remember the Alamo

Today, we're heading out on a short road trip to historic San Antonio - site of several battles of the Texas Revolution and home of the 2007 NBA World Champions! Of course the first time I heard of San Antonio as a kid was when Pee Wee went looking for his bicycle in the basement of the Alamo. Because of that movie, I now know that there is no basement in the Alamo!

Aside from the history, the food, the amazingly large highway infrastructure, and the diverse culture, one of the things I like most about San Antonio is the sight of ominous military aircraft. There are six military bases in the San Antonio area, so when you see a swarm of Blackhawk helicopters flying by - it's not a sign that martial law is being imposed. At least not yet.

Hello Austin, Texas!

Looks like nature heeded the warning call posted on this blog only days ago and pushed Hurricane Dean away from our flightpath. In other news, S. and I are throughly enjoying the beginning of our new lives and new lifestyle in the southern USA. It's hot here (when I checked the thermometer yesterday it was 101 Fahrenheit, which is 38 Celsius), but it's really not as difficult to cope with as I expected. Just like any old hot summer day in Canada. People go out and do stuff anyway. Avoid running any marathons or tarring any roofs and you'll be just fine. And like many hot places, the temperatures seem to coincide with a more laid back attitude, just the thing we needed after living in uptight Yankee land for the past eight months. So yeah - life is fucking good.

Out of my way Mother Nature!

On Friday - in just three days! - we board our one-way flight to Austin, Texas. That asshole storm Hurricane Dean better not mess with air traffic. Fuck you Hurricane Dean!

Okay, time to take apart my computer and put it in a box.

Goodbye Montreal

It was a fun trip in June, and while I really loved seeing friends, I was definitely relieved to leave the city. I love Montreal. It's a good looking place. But for me it feels like an old skin. Going back at first was really magical. I felt a powerful nostalgia for the city's buildings, streets, restaurants, lights, sights, etc. But it very quickly became the same old buildings, same old streets, same old bars -- same old language politics. Ultimately there are too many reasons to list why I wanted to leave the city in the first place, but the essence of it is that living there felt like a chapter of my life that was long over. The city is much better to me in retrospect, as a super cool vacation destination, a place to recall fun times. I think the memories I have of the city are better than anything new I could ever experience again.

Anyway, I brought my camcorder there and shot some random shit. We went there during Grand Prix weekend (not intentionally). The music is from one of my favorite Montreal bands of all time, the late and great Crackpot!

Austin or Bust!

In just two weeks we'll be boarding a one-way flight to beautful and awesome Austin, Texas! I'm totally in countdown mode. At work I feel like a Dead Man Walking, especially because I gave three weeks notice instead of two, and because I worked at WBZ for only two months or so. People keep asking me -- in jest -- "You're still here?" and while it was funny at first, now it's just getting fucking annoying. Those grizzled journalists sure have a twisted sense of humor. That's why I'm anxious to finish my last seven days of work and get a move on this motherfucker!

Italian Carnival in Nonantum

Small but fun touring carnival rented by Italians in Nonantum (Newton's Little Italy, built on a paved lake) to celebrate their 72nd Annual Saint Mary of Carmen Society Festival. At the end of the night, around 10 p.m., they parade a statue of Saint Mary through the streets while banging a massive bell and playing marching music. People follow behind holding candles in cups to prevent the wind from blowing them out. I made the music to accompany the ferris wheel ride, probably the sketchiest and scariest ferris wheel ride of my life. It was run by a teen on a cell phone who would yank the lever so fucking hard this rickety little piece of shit ride would be whirring around way too fast. When he stopped the ride, it was so sudden that the seats would swing violently and little children would scream and squeeze their parents. After awhile it became kind of amusing.

Happy Canada Day!

A day to commemorate the beginning of the establishment of the Canadian confederation through the 1867 British North America Act!¹ Any excuse to drink beer and eat hot dogs is fine by me. For the rest of the day I'm on Flag Watch, keeping an eye peeled for any signs of Canada here in New England.

In the meantime, here's the video of our trip to Canada Day in Ottawa last year.  As anyone who's been there on that day knows, it can be a very overwhelming experience!

One pound of man food!

America has many food products, some good, some not so good. This food product boasts quantity as a primary value. And it includes the word "sports" on the packaging. These should generally be regarded as warning signs.

Panorama Mania!

I figured out how to make panoramic images by taking several pictures with a digital camera and using software to stitch them together. Now I can show you with more detail the various places I go to in day to day life these days! These are fairly high resolution photographs. The best way to view the pictures is to zoom in and scroll horizontally to see the most detail.

Check it out....

Dunkin Donuts near NECN. (Google Map) This is where I might stand and drink an iced coffee before work while listening to WBUR.

West Newton. (Google Map) One of the areas of Newton I frequent regularly. They have a cool repertory theater and the some of the best damned Yankee BBQ you'll ever find.

Webster Park. (Google Map) There are some many beautiful parks in Newton and this is one of them. This is the view from a well-maintained park bench located in a discrete area of the park where you can sit and enjoy nature.

Shaw's grocery store. (Google Map) This is not a high-resolution picture but still gives you an idea about the place. I mean, it's a grocery store, whaddya want? All the fantastic American food products you could ever desire can be found inside that building.

Montreal at night from the top of Peel Plaza. (Google Map, the one with the pool on top) This is a fantastic building to sneak on top of at night to witness a stunning panorama of downtown Montreal. It's puts you much closer to the buildings than the observatory on Mount Royal. But you'll have to figure out a way to get past the front locked doors and a security guard. You're on your own for that one!

Well those are all the panoramas I have for now. Stay tuned for more!

Mistaken Identity

Pictures from Fake Blood's last show ever actually did make it into Montreal's Nightlife magazine. Sonia grabbed a copy off the rack during our recent trip to Montreal. (Yes, they still had the February issues on newstands.) Regrettably, we were mislabeled, mistaken for our friends The Adam Brown who played with us that night. Consolation prize: The Adam Brown were mislabeled too!

How Sweet It Is

New England truly is a beautiful place, and nothing says it better than these sugar packets from Joseph's II, a family-run breakfast joint around the corner in Waltham.

Things I will miss about Quebec

Some of the best pierogies this side of the Atlantic!

Dollarama Keyboard

While visiting Montreal, I went to Dollarama and couldn't believe they were selling an entire 25-key electronic keyboard for only ONE DOLLAR! Then I heard what it sounded like, and the price seemed absolutely reasonable. In this clip, I perform several popular songs. I think you'll be pleasantly delighted with the soothing tones of this Chinese crafted instrument.

This is what 4.4% unemployment looks like

At 4.4 percent, the unemployment rate in Massachusetts is among the lowest in the U.S. It means that low end service industry jobs like those at Dunkin Donuts are becoming so difficult to fill that the "1 Minute" applications available at the counter only ask for your name, email, and phone number.

Man Whore

Baaahahahaha! Is there anything The Donald won't sell? I just imagine eating his tasty man steaks, "These are the world's greatest steaks! The Apprentice." Got this in the mail a few days ago. Who the hell buys meat in the mail anyway? Let alone from The Sharper Image....

Desert Storm trading cards!

Click on the card above to take a tour through the first Gulf War, AMERICA STYLE. I found three packs of these trading cards at a comic book shop in Waltham, Mass. See why Bush Sr. can proudly say, "Back in '91, we gotter done." My personal favorites include card #1, Commander in Chief (George Sr., looking dapper in a leather pilots coat), and card #71, Anti-Aircraft Chemical Gear ("Alright kids, remember there are three basic types of chemical weapons.").

For some reason, the current Iraq war hasn't yet made it into trading card form. Perhaps if it had, we wouldn't be in the mess we're in now. You hear that Topps America?!

Bringing my world to you via cell phone

Cool, I just figured out how to make blog posts with my cell phone (insert geek emoticon). Here's a random picture I took with my phone, a cigarette menu in a nearby Store 24. Check out those Everyday Values!

MTL

Can't wait to visit in June!

Our trip to Austin, TX

We had a great time visiting the "Live Music Capital of the World"! Austin is truly as cool a city as it's made out to be. There's vintage Americana art all over the place, neon signs, steel statues, and weird sculptures like this thing pictured above. Live music is everywhere. The BBQ kicks major ass, as does the TexMex, a wide variety of beers and wines to satisfy the palate and the pocketbood, housing prices rival those in Montreal. It rarely snows. And it's smack dab in the middle of Texas, one of the greatest states in the Union! Definitely plan to go visit Austin again, the sooner the better.

Checking out the beers at HEB

What a great grocery store, the HEB Central Market in Austin, TX. There's really so much I didn't capture on tape but I was impressed with the wide selection of beers and their great prices. Ultimately, I chose to go with the local fare.

In and out of Cambridge

Driving into Cambridge from Newton, shots of Harvard Square, taking the T back out.
Music by The Human League.

I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with the crap quality of YouTube videos. To download a much better, 40 mb version of this video, click here. Sorry it's .wmv format, but for some reason it gives me the best quality-to-file-size ratio. If you have helpful video encoding advice, please email me.

And thanks for watching!

Awwww....

Our cat loves to hunt sun beams.

Repruhzent!

Don't see these stickers too often in Massachusetts, so when I do it's worth noting. I think the driver of this Saturn was a little freaked out by me tailing her and taking pictures of the vehicle. But see? It's all for a good cause!

Turkey in the office park

Cell phone video of a wild turkey I found meandering around the office park where I work in Newton, Massachusetts. Not sure if he was lost or looking for a job.

Things I will not miss about Quebec

I do hold La Belle Province fondly in the warm light of memory, but one thing I won't look back on (unless otherwise forced) is the insanely bad customer service standards held by virtually all major companies there. We should have known that even in a different country, Videotron would somehow find a way to fuck with us. If you click on the image above you can read all about it: A $738 charge for "failing to return" a cable box. Turns out the retarded teens at the Videotron video rental outlet on Parc Avenue who took our box back in December failed to return the expensive piece of equipment to headquarters. And of course Videotron sent us no bill, no warning; they simply ordered a full-throttled attack by Global Collection Agency.

Fortunately all has been sorted out, but not after an annoying hour on the phone, the majority of which was spent listening to on-hold music - the same 5-second loop of vacuous elevator crap Videotron sadistically forces customers to listen to every time they call. It angers me intensely but thank goodness we won't have to deal with Videotron again. Or will we?

King Me

These are usually the cheapest cigarettes sold in anywhere in my town. I thought I'd try. They actually remind me of $2 a pack smokes from the Native reserve outside Montreal.

CBC and a side of fries

At the Green House Coffee Shop in Cambridge, the CBC is nothing more than a cheese, bacon, chicken sandwich. Mind you, there have been times when a CBC sandwich sounded a lot better than the radio network, especially when they play that damn fiddle music.

Energy Coffee at 7 Eleven

I'm a coffee lover but this scares me. Read the yellow bar at the bottom of the ad. Guarana? Yerba Maté? Which sick and twisted mind at 7 Eleven thought it would be a good idea to add caffeine to coffee?! Is this the penultimate energy drink or a sign of the coming apocalypse?

The Cost of Wealth

I liked James Carroll's column in the Boston Globe today on how the Iraq war is not only a fucked up Bush policy but also a reflection of the expansionist forces of the American economy, and that makes most of us implicated in one way or another. It's too easy just to blame Bush and throw up hands in despair and absolve oneself from US foreign policy. Anyway, he describes it far more eloquently.

Cat

Music by Depeche Mode.

Boston Stroll

Riding the T, walking through Boston, through the Common Garden, past the State House, into the Old Granary Burying Ground, beside City Hall, down by the harbor.
Music by me.

Bundles of Bills...

...and none are mine! At least my two bucks will go to state coffers and pay for great things like roads, libraries, and a nice car for the Governor.
Still, if one person had to win, I'm glad it's this guy.