Unintentionally funny advertisement

Found this on the Stateman's website two minutes ago. Does it not look like that guy with a beard has a woman's midriff? Hilarious!

Matrix controllers everywhere!

First there was the Tenori-On.

Then there was the Monome.

Then the Block

Then the APC40

Then the Launchpad. (And probably some other stuff in between)

I picked up one of these. It's awesome! Expect a review in the future.

Now there's the (significantly cheaper) Bliptronic 5000 LED. Obviously it's a toy but it's only $50!


I'm liking this trend!

$1 Big Texas Cheeseburger is taunting me

Fuck you Jack in the Box! Fuck you for enticing me with this image every morning on my walk to work. I know it's a lie. There's no way you are offering a Big Texas Cheeseburger for only $1. It doesn't look like that picture. But every damn morning I have to walk past this delicious looking 6-foot tall lie and be tempted to break my boycott of you.

(I suffered the worst food poisoning of my life in early 2008 and it occurred after eating a questionable chicken sandwich from this very Jack in the Box. Haven't been back since.)
The sketchy looking Jack in the Box mascot whispers into my mind's ear, "It's only a dollar! What are the odds of lightning striking twice? You're not going to get sick again! Stop being paranoid."
I won't do it Jack in the Box! I've never before purposefully boycotted a restaurant for this long, let alone one so close to my work.

You will not break me with your false imagery, even if it would make an excellent contribution to my ongoing investigative series debunking food advertising. All I have to do is remember how miserable I was with food poisoning. It was so bad that a nurse had to inject an anti-nausea medication into my buttocks to make the throw up stop.

I just hope this "Limited Time Only" come to an end soon, so this Jack in the Box can go back to advertising its Denver Breakfast Bowls or something else lame.

Food Ads Exposed: Smart Ones Chicken Oriental

Besides having a mildly racist name, Smart Ones Chicken Oriental offers "juicy white meat chicken in a savory Oriental sauce with vegetables and rice." I bought this frozen meal because it cost only $1.80, but it tastes just as cheap. The flavor is kind of a one note, and the chicken tastes like, well, chicken that has been frozen, cooked, frozen again, then microwaved.

But it's low in calories (230) and contains enough sodium (640 mg) to keep you powering through the eating process. I spent less than two dollars on this meal and I won't have have to eat for at least three hours. Sounds like a win win to me!

I also think Smart Ones' motto could use some work, "Taste so good, you want to be good." What?

Pride crushed: Labatt Blue is not exclusive to Canada!

Growing up in Canada, I was always led to believe that Labatt Blue was a product unavailable outside our home and native land. The main reason for this belief was a Labatt Blue commercial that aired when I was a teenager. I couldn't find it on YouTube, but here's the gist of it:

It's a blazing hot summer day at the Canada-US border. Cars are slowly creeping south through US customs. A 20-something slacker dude is sitting in his front lawn, which somehow happens to be right in front of this huge line of cars. People are sweating their asses off, and he reaches into an ice chest and pulls out a Labatt Blue, glistening with moisture droplets. He cracks it open and takes a huge swig. Ahhh... You can almost taste how refreshing it is through the TV set. He looks smugly at the jealous fat Americans heading back to the United States. Then a voiceover comes in and says, "Labatt Blue, only available in Canada," or something like that.

It was wish-fulfillment for Canadians. They are bombarded with American culture day and night. But most often, they can only witness it. They don't "own" the culture or participate in it in. This commercial was a big Fuck You to America. And it must have worked, because Molson adopted a similar, but more annoying, I Am Canadian commercial a few years later. Those ads turned a generic looking guy named Joe Canadian into a minor celebrity, and earned an even greater place in the Canadian psyche. But I still remember that damn Labatt Blue commercial. Finally, we had this awesome beer to be proud of that they couldn't get their hands on unless they came north of the 49th.

Turns out, it is all a crock of shit.


In the above picture, you can see the bottle, purchased at an American liquor store in Austin, Texas was clearly imported. I've got to give them credit for actually brewing it in Canada, even if it was at some factory in Toronto. The label could very well have read, "Brewed in Milwaukee, WI."

But really, how "Canadian" is Labatt? It was bought by Belgian brewer Interbrew in 1995, and the company is now called Anheuser-Busch InBev.

Who cares. Labatt's cultural value remains in tact. When I'm down here in Texas and I crack open a long necked cold one with the proud Blue label, I feel like I could be in any of the Canadian locations depicted in these hilarious Labatt commercials from 1987. Cheers!

Google FINALLY releases street view for Canada

I can't tell you how long I've been waiting for this. It's so nice to be able to visit my old neighborhoods when I get home sick or nostalgic. Unfortunately, Montreal was photographed in the winter when the trees are not lush and amazing. Alas. It's still better than nothing. Here are some of my old apartments.

Van Horne Ave in Montreal
Hutchison Street in Montreal
St-Viateur St in Montreal
Somerset Drive in Ottawa

And here are a few other interesting sights.

Convenience store on Baseline Rd. in Ottawa (used to be Beckers, is now a Mac's)
One of my favorite parks on Commercial Drive in Vancouver
Canadian Parliament in Ottawa
Controversial block of Hastings Street in Vancouver
Best damn bagels in Montreal
Old jam space in Montreal (rented music rehearsal rooms by the hour)
Holy crap, this was an empty lot last time I was at this intersection in Montreal

Okay, I better stop now because nostalgia is starting to sweep over me. Why can't I be everywhere at once?!

I now issue the following request to my Canadian friends: Please post your favorite and/or memorable locations in the comments! I'd love to see them!