Mama Mary's Microwave Pancakes

I probably wouldn't take issue with microwavable pancakes, if only they didn't make the dubious claim that they're actually "Better than homemade!" That's just an insult to my intelligence (not to mention my homemade pancakes), especially considering they're made at a food processing facility in Spartanburg, SC. The serving size pictured on their website packs a whopping 1000+ calories, not including the butter and syrup, or the basket of hand collected eggs to go along with it!

Super Target

Get your shopping on! This is the biggest Target store I've ever visited. You can buy groceries here too. That's what makes it "Super". This thing is so new that when you try to find it in Google Maps, all you see is farmland.

Crappiest promotional toy ever?

This Bee Movie buzzer was included in a box of Honey Nut Cheerios. It's supposed to let you "Give your friends a zap!" I think the children are being shortchanged.

Trailer Park Boys movie in America!

Canadian champions of low-brow comedy and marijuana advocacy -- Ricky, Julian and Bubbles -- are finally taking their movie south of the 49th parallel, hopefully to become a commerical explosion in America and permanently cement their legacy in celebrity famedom and cultural relevancy!

Dates and times have yet to be announced, but I pray they bring those 16 mm film reels to Austin. After all, the film made its U.S. debut right here at last year's South by Southwest festival. Alamo Drafthouse, are you listening?!