Top Notch Hamburgers

Austin is one of the top hamburger capitals of America, and some of the best burger joints are those that haven't changed in decades. Top Notch is one of those places. In fact, it's so frozen in time that it was used as one of the locations in the movie Dazed and Confused -- a movie set in the 1970s.

A little old lady takes your order from behind the counter and men in trucker hats prepare your burger on a charcoal grill. The onion rings are cut right on site, and damn, does it make a difference. Not only are their burgers fantastic, but their onion rings are some of the best in town. Here are some pics.

Click on this picture to get a better look at the menu. You can't go wrong with the Number 2.

Keep up the good work, buddy!

Raise your handguns!

After months of anticipation, I finally fired my first handgun. Growing up in Canada, handguns are somewhat of an exotic hobby. And by exotic, I mean clandestine. Obtaining one is next to impossible, as you can see here.

But in the Great State of Texas, where freedom reigns and motorcycle helmets are optional, almost anyone of legal age can walk into a gun store - and after a quick background check on the FBI database - walk out with a couple Smith & Wesson 500 Revolvers. Don't want to deal with a pesky background check? No problem! Just show up at a gun show and buy from a private individual. No fuss, no muss.

I know Canadians love to stick up their noses at loose American gun laws, and exploit the United States' higher murder rate as a salve for Canada's cultural insecurity. But we should celebrate the things that make us different!

Yes, the gun show loophole should probably be closed, and perhaps there should be a longer waiting period for handgun purchases, but to strip America of the easily accessible handgun would be akin to slapping the cigarette out of the mouth of James Dean. Like blue jeans and the Chevy Cadillac, the handgun is America!

Andrew WK does funny dance

Had an awesome USA day spent with Andrew WK at Emo's. He flew out to the ATX from NYC for a special Independence Day show. I took a bunch of video but the sound was crap. My camera's tiny condenser mic couldn't handle being in front of the speakers. However, I did capture this hilarious dance that was part of an extensive routine to warm up the crowd. It must have worked because by the time "It's Time to Party" hit, the audience fucking exploded.

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

This is my first Canada Day in Texas. And in what has become a tradition here on Distracted Dispatches, I'm posting a home video reminder of how craaaazy those Canadians get in Ottawa. Sorry, but I must draw the line at the patriotic umbrella hat. Doesn't mean I don't respect you, John A. MacDonald!